Government plans to move all classical nude statues from British Museum to the backrooms of newsagents

The art world is in an uproar today as a leaked government document revealed plans for relocating every naked statue in the British Museum to newsagents across the country.

“We believe there is no-one with more experience in keeping nudity hidden from the public than the noble newsagent” said the document.

Despite a backlash from the art world, many people see the move as a positive one.

Newsagents have taken a big hit since the rise of online pornography and having priceless works of art on site would help them become major players in the adult industry once more.

Porn sites to exploit porn block loophole by shifting focus towards Coronation Street discussion

Some of the largest porn sites are taking measures to ensure they don't lose any traffic once the Porn Block is introduced.

As it stands, sites where less than a third of the content is adult related will not be subject to age verification.

Pornhub believes that by ensuring two thirds of its website is dedicated to Coronation Street it will not only maintain the same amount of traffic, but actually grow.

A spokesperson for the company said "There are nearly 10,000 episodes of Coronation Street. There's a lot to discuss.

"We'll have episode recaps, character biographies. We'll encourage customers to submit their own non-pornographic spec scripts and fan art. We'll have crosswords, word searches."

"This is an exciting time for any fan of the show".

Lack of internet pornography might mean an entire generation will grow up not knowing how to shit in a cup and drink it says government think tank

A government think tank has raised concerns that blocking internet pornography could have long term effects on the minds of the next generation.

"Without access to the darkest pits of the web, many young people are going to grow up with a healthy attitude towards sex." the study said.

"There are going to be adults walking around completely oblivious to what's out there. Really this should be a job for the parents, but it's not a conversation they'll want to have.

"The burden may have to fall upon the schools, who will have to let their students know that while shitting in a cup and drinking it is not hygienic, there is nothing wrong with doing it if that's what you're into".

GOVERNMENT ADDRESSES CONCERNS OVER YOUNGER SOLDIERS LOSING ACCESS TO INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY

The government has today responded to the backlash over soldiers who are under the age of 18 losing access to internet pornography.

While 16-year-olds are allowed to join the army and legally kill people, they have to wait a further two years to view pornography, which many human rights campaigners feel is unfair.

A spokesperson for the government said they were trialing a scheme where for every enemy soldier they killed, an underage soldier would be allowed to enter a private room and look at a photo of a naked person for ten minutes, provided they have a signed permission slip from their parents.

The government says there will initially be ten different photos to choose from, featuring women and men with different hair colours such and blonde and brunette, but hopes to expand that number to fifteen should the trial be successful.

This content was written before the UK Government decided not to go ahead with intended porn ban. It was intended to be on a site that would help adults find websites without having to age verify as part of an SEO project.

As it is now defunct. It can be revealed. 

Nackensteak in a slow cooker

I spent most of my twenties drinking and smoking weed. I've done trips, speed, cocaine, E's, ketamine and heroin (well... just the once) and I'm about to write a blog post about how to cook pork neck steaks (Nackensteak ) in a slow cooker. What have I become?

With two boys and an increasing workload, I need time and the slow cooker gives me some back. Lob everything in and eat later.

I've got no Amazon affiliate links in this post, it just might help someone like myself who sees nackensteaks in a German supermarket and wonders how they can (slow) cook them.

I know I should have photos in this post but I can't be bothered.

So, get out your slow cooker and throw in the nackensteaks. Add a box of tomato passata (Tomaten passiert in German). 500g packet will do. Then just fill the rest of the slow cooker up with any fresh or frozen vegetables you have. Add some salt and any fancy herbs you have. Set on high and in 8 hours you will have a lovely pork stew.

Fire up Beebs and you are away.

Revisiting SEO and wedding photos

I've not worked in SEO for a number of years having concentrated by accident on social media.

I always found SEO quite easy because basically it is about acquiring links and I never found it hard to get any site I worked with decent links and good visibilty in search engines.

A few months ago, an old friend asked to recommend a website builder for his new wedding photography business based in Crosby, Liverpool.

I searched around and found a decent page that gave an honest opinion of the various options. It's here, it is quite good.

Unfortunately, he signed up with Go Daddy and used their website builder - it just seemed easier for himself - its limitations means he may struggle to get found in the search engines without a bit of effort.

Leaving that aside (I'm sure he will do well by word of mouth and have a pretty website to point people at) I started to remember all the times friends have asked me about SEO or I have told them I knew about SEO and could help their site (free of charge because they were friends or family).

Over a ten year period, not one used any advice I gave them.

Many of their businesses failed.

I did try but unfortunately sometimes people think they know better.

Twitter test

@ArenaFlowers I've yet to cry from laughter when reading a joke but everything you've tweeted today has pushed the boundary. Bravo.

— Thomas King (@thomjking) January 4, 2012

@ArenaFlowers I've yet to cry from laughter when reading a joke but everything you've tweeted today has pushed the boundary. Bravo.

— Thomas King (@thomjking) January 4, 2012