Alternative ways to feel shame now the porn block is in place

Now that there are obstacles in the way of accessing pornography and therefore post-porn shame, there are concerns amongst many that shame levels across the country could plummet, leading to unintended psychological consequences.

The government recommends getting five portions of shame a week and offers these easily accessible sources:

1. A chocolate gateau will often be described as for 4-6 people, but it is remarkably easy to eat an entire one in just one sitting. Purchasable for as little as £1.50 from most supermarkets, they present a quick and easy source of shame. For even more shame, don’t wait for the gateau to defrost and eat it frozen. The more frozen it is, the more shame you’ll experience.  
2. Tell a stranger how you genuinely feel. Nothing brings on shame like unprompted sincerity. Walk up to any stranger at a bus stop, appear like you’re about to talk about the weather, but feint left and start talking about your doubts and fears instead, the more personal the better. 
3. Try, but fail to achieve your dreams. 
4. Amass huge gambling debts that mean you have to sell your house and then call a meeting with your friends and family to inform them of this news.